A Sleepin' on a Tightrope..

http://news.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/hi/newsbeat/newsid_7961000/7961224.stm

I finished overhearing a story from one of my cubemates. She was telling our supervisor a suspenseful story on how she ultimately saved a kitten's life Her story ended it with, “You’re (the itty bitty kitten) coming home with me.” Heartwarming. Good way to start off the morning.

I checked my blood this morning and my sugar levels are going down. Thank goodness. I’m injecting myself twice a day and that seems to work. If my sugar levels were still in the range of 300 -350, I was going to contact my doctor and tell her that I’m probably now a Type I diabetic (insulin dependent) and will need to change my insulin routine (get more fast acting insulin instead of my 12 hour time release kind)...

Well, my friend Samara and I had a nice weekend. We went to see Music For Animals perform at Napa’s Blues, Brews & BBQ Festival. MFA was performing at radio station KFOG’s stage. Jay (the lead singer of MFA) asked me if I would help the band out and work the merch table. I did and I think I did a darn good job. Samara helped by going to nearby shops and breaking large bills into smaller denominations.

After the show, she and I went to Calistoga. I reserved a cottage for us. She’s never been to Calistoga nor has she ever had a mud bath, or a spa treatment for that matter. We had a fun girl’s spa day. Of course, it was SUPER hot, luckily our room had an air conditioning unit (which we kept on), and the spa had their ac on, too. And with the night, came the cooler temps.

If you ever think of going to the Napa Valley, I suggest you stay at the Golden Haven Springs Spa. Not only can you stay there, but they have an onsite spa. Prices are also reasonable.

I stepped into the Utah and immediately felt like walking out. I headed towards the stairs when I was asked to show my ID and to get stamped. I don't mind, but the guy in charge is a real creep. I hate as he gropes my hand looking for a right spot to put the stamp on. Yuck.

Anyway, I probably stayed about 10 minutes and then left. I hardly saw any familiar faces and there was waay too many people. I'm glad I left.

At home, I fell asleep. No exercise for me! Too bad. But when my body usually fights me to get sleep, my body seems to always win.

But right before I slept, I gave my cat two grapes to play with. Dang, that crazy kitty goes wild for grapes. He smacks the grapes around until he loses them. The he heads to the bag where I keep the newly bought fruit, and digs until he finds a loose grape. I can almost hear him yell, "Eureka!"

I thought I was getting lethargic in my old age. I didn’t feel like going to the Utah last night. Nor, did I feel like going to the rental place to see Adel. Yeah, sure, he happens to be very good looking, a darn swell conversationalist and he’s intelligent, but why hang around like a puppy dog in hopes to get a tid bit of his attention? Blah, I’m tired of that crap. If he’s interested in me, he’ll let me know. In the meantime, I’ll assume he’s attached and not interested.

As for the Utah, I did want to go, but sleep overtook me. It’s funny how I use to have chronic insomnia, but now, I guess, my body wants to make up for lost sleep. I spend many wonderful hours sleeping. Later that night, I went to the gym. Had to get my exercise in sometime!

Strange, my friends say I’ve lost weight, but I don’t see it. Fooey. But I did lose a chin and that’s always good news to me. As for the rest of my body, when I inject myself with insulin every morning, I do see that I have rolls of flab instead of my usual thick snow tire. Still, I don’t feel as if I’ve really lost any considerable amount. You know, I REALLY need to find those two scales which are now somewhere hiding from me in my apartment. There’s a scale at the gym, but I don’t trust it. Why? Because I weight the same amount three months ago as I do now. It’s frustrating. Fooey and blah!

I wonder if they'll have a boy or girl? I don't think they've told many people about the pregnancy, but, sadly, personal news like this is hard to hide from others for too long.

Anyway, I'm happy for them. :O)

Yeah, me too.

I helped a couple of musician friends get some gigs around San Francisco. Knowing this fact makes me feel good. I try my best to get artists, itching to perform, a spot in an open bill and/or get them info on venues with open dates.

I'm recovering from taking a Thursday kickboxing class at the gym. My whole body, and I do mean my whole body, is super sore. Ugh! I remember feeling faint, exhausted, but exhilarated afterwards. Wow, can't wait to take another class! I'm such a masochist.

Went to the Hemlock on Friday to see the Go Going Gone Girls and to meet up Bridget and Klaus (Klaus plays electric guitar for them). It was nice seeing them again. After the show, the G4's performed at midnight, Bridget and Klaus drove me home even though I don't live too far from the club. But Bridget said, "It's what friends do, friends drive their friends home!" Those two are very sweet.

Saturday afternoon I saw the movie, "The Ugly Truth" with Samara. It was good entertainment. Since I didn't have any dinner last night, nor a breakfast, I was super hungry. I knew I'd regret this, but I bought a small popcorn, nachos and a small diet drink. I usually feel like crap afterwards, but, so far, I don't. Yeah, I know, I know .... wait for it, right?

Afterwards, she and I went to Mel's Diner to have ourselves a real meal and to catch up on things. I have to remember to email her on the shows I'm going to attend. This way she can decided if she wants to join me or not.

Work is going along pretty swell. What I've been doing for the past 7 months is archiving. In the electronic publication world, this means that I go through a book and pretty much scan it looking for errors, any errors. From scanning to see if the spaces between characters are correct to checking the graphics to see if the right ones are in place. There's A LOT to look for and fix.

Anyway, the second part of my job is suppose to be QA. In QAing, it's more in depth, if that's possible, and more macos to run, etc. etc. I'm happy to finally get to this part of the job. I have more things to learn and more things to do. Yeah, not only am I a masochist, but I'm also a work-a-holic!

That's it for now, kiddos. Ciao.

Still thinking about a dream I had a couple of days ago.

I was invited to join in on a round table discussion held by some of the Hotel Utah open mic musicians. I was thrilled with the invitation. Gosh, I'm going to be "in the know". I felt so honoured because only artist knew where to find the "music room" where all meetings were held.

I was shown to the "special room" by a few attendants. As I walked inside, the room reminded me of both a church and a school room. We sat in beige, bottom braced folding chairs at a faux oak folding table. I could smell chalk and goopy paste (the type kindergarten school children would use -and probably eat- for art projects). I could also smell incense (what priests would use during services), though I saw nothing.

As I scooted my chair closer to the table, I looked around at the others sitting with me. I recognized Mr. Loebs (he was standing and nodding his approval to some sheet of paper someone was showing him), Jeannie Foss, and Mary Margaret. The rest of the attendees were familiar, but I didn't know their names.

In front our table, but to the right of us, were two circles of children sitting in folding chairs. Before each circle, stood an instructor. Each child held a different instrument and kept one eye on the sheet of music on the folding stand and one on an instructor. What I found quite odd was that as loud as the children probably were with their instruments, I couldn't hear a sound. They, therefore, didn't disturbed our meeting.

Jeannie and Mary both asked how I was doing, and as I proceeded to tell them, Michael interrupts with, “Are we here for niceities or are going to get down to business?” Yipes! I stop speaking and sit up straight.

The dream then changes to Michael arguing with David Lynch. They're walking out from behind an enormous ebony partition which splits the room in two. It seems Mr. Lynch is agreeing with an idea I had (I don't know what my idea was) and, much to Michael's dismay, Mr. Lynch wants to quickly run with the idea.

Michael is really giving a good argument to Lynch. Point after point is given. He brings up the few pros of my plan, but gives an abundant amount of cons. Mr. Lynch is calm and quietly listens. He then smiles at Michael and with that, Michael knows he's beat because arguing with someone as great as Lynch is a no win situation (why am I thinking this in my dream?). Angerly, Michael turns and walks away. He ends up in a kitchen/closet (yes, it's both a kitchen and a closet because, again, I'm dreaming this) and starts throwing pots and pans around and cussing at his unfair defeat. I find myself behind Michael (I guess I want to help him), but I don’t say anything.

Took my eye glass prescription to an optical shop. I desperately need new lenses. Since my eyes have gotten better over the years, my old glasses (I still wear my old pair because I've been too poor to replace them) are hurting my eyes. My work has me staring at a computer screen all day and I can feel my eyes strain -especially my right eye. I usually have to use eye drops to relieve my eyes and remove the red from my blood shot eyes.

Anyway, today I went and bought a new pair of glasses. At first I was just going to replace the lenses, but I found some inexpensive frames which, I think, look good on me. Me am very happy. It'll take a couple of weeks before they arrive at the shop.

Another thing I've done was call for a dental appointment. I want to get my teeth cleaned ($110) and, since I have tar build up, I want to get "gassed" ($60). I opted for the gas because removal of tar can be, and I know, will be painful.

I think I'll be able to pay for everything within three to four months. Maybe even sooner.

I forgot to blog about my first endeavour as a photographer. I was asked by my friend Joe (from the band Electrik Sunset) to take pictures of his band when they performed at the GAMH. Wow, what a great opportunity for me!

The night of the show, I met up with Joe (the lead singer) and we went over on how to use his camera. I was looking forward to finally working with a camera instead of a cell phone.

When Electrik Sunset was onstage, I took photos just to get use to the feel of the camera. I also wanted to see how the angles would look, the lighting, etc. Snap, snap, snap. Then I noticed that the batteries were dying. Oy gevalt! Why now?

I turned off the camera and waited a bit in hopes it would help. I then saw Joe's girlfriend and told her the problem I was having. She immediately went out to buy some batteries. Eventually, she came back with the batteries, unfortunately, they were the wrong size. Oh well.

So I basically took as many photos as I could, but when I saw the red light flash, which indicated that the batteries were low, I would turn off the camera and wait. I wasn't sure I got any good pictures, but I did what I could.

A few days later, I saw Joe at the Utah. He told me I got lots pictures (for some reason I felt as if I only took about 10) and was very happy with the photos I took. "You got some REAL good ones, Miriam." Joe said happily.

Whew, what a relief.

The festivities started at 2pm at a home in the Mission. But fearing that the sun would be at it's full force, I decided to wait a few hours. It was around 5:30pm when I found my way to the place. As I walked up the street looking for the address, I could hear music from the Fancy Dan Band coming from somewhere. And, like a wonderful scent drifting from bakery, I followed the music to an open door with signs on it telling me I was at the right place. I followed the trail of music through a long hall way. I passed stranger after stranger, down some wooden steps, down a narrow path (all lined with people), until I saw the entire Fancy Dan Band. I couldn't have dreamt of anything better. How surreal. How marvelous. How utterly fantastic.

Luckily I found a great spot on a bench near the band. As I sat, I felt a soft clump. I checked to see what I accidently sat on and on the bench was a large black mass. It was someone's crumpled coat. I shook it and noticed it was Mr. Loebs' coat (along with his signature scarf). I proceeded to shake it a little more to get any food particles and/or leaves off and proceeded to folded it and put it neatly on the back of the bench.

Okay, sure, I no longer am attracted to the man, but that doesn't mean I don't care for that meshugah nunchuck. I also didn't want his personal items to accidently get beer spilt on them (which can and does happen at BBQ and/or parties).

I brought with me a large amount of macaroni. Though I felt I came much too late for the party, I didn't think anyone would eat my side dish, but I was wrong. It's not a big deal, but it felt good to see people taking spoonfuls of it in their plate. Cool. I done did good.

Helen (Adam Balbo's girlfriend) brought her fantastic vanilla cupcakes with a detailed flag of a country (of course, not all the countries) on each. I took a photo and will post it later. I ate Mexico (Helen's eagle for the flag was spot on and I could clearly make out the cactus). Two girls standing next to me (we all stood to get a better look at the small stage where the music was playing) took the cupcake with the Israeli flag and the cupcake with the flag of Palenstine. Once one of the girls took a bite of her Israeli flag, I and her friend told her to take a bite of the Palestinian flag (it turned out that both girls were Jewish). Anyway, she did what we asked her to do and we all commented about how there was now peace in the Middle East. It was as simple as eating two cupcakes. I told her she should now go to Middle East to show how peace could be achieved. No fighting, no bloodshed. Corny? Yes, very much so.

Well, the music was first rate. The Fancy Dan Band wow'd the audience (even though I only saw the last two songs of their set), but so did Kelly McFarling and Adam Balbo (with Michael Loebs on the drums). My favourite, though, was Serious Sam. Sam is an extraordinary blues guitarist. He tries to come to the United States every year for a tour and I always anticipate his arrival. I met him a few years ago. Not sure if I was still living with Michael and Mark at the time, but I remember how Mr. Loebs and Mark Underwood (then they were part of Michael's band called Powell St. Station) befriended Serious and the rest was history.

Now that Loebs and Mark are in the Fancy Dan Band, and having kept in touch with Serious for the past couple of years, the band (along with Fancy) has wanted to perform with Serious. The get together at this small venue was just perfect.

It was right before Adam Balbo and Michael Loebs were about to play their set that I decided to leave the party. I was feeling VERY drained. As I headed down 20th, to catch the 49 back, I decided to get some cash. I was hoping to buy a cup of coffee to perk me up. Unfortunately, most of the nearby coffee shops had closed. I decided to go back to the party. Maybe there was something there I could drink to wake me up.

Unfortunately there was nothing at the house, but I felt a little better. I went down to the stage and sat to listen to Adam and Michael's set. During one of Adam's songs, women (including Jeannie Foss) started dancing. It looked fun. I'm happy to say that I eventually danced, too, with Jeannie Foss as my partner. Strange, I hardly ever come out of my shell to dance, but it was felt great.

What a wonderful BBQ and a wonderful way to spend the 4th of July.

Not sure what to expect, but this'll be my first time going to a show as a professional photographer. I get a special wrist band and everything. As for what "everything" ensues, I know not.

Wish me luck!

M. Schmeariam-meister

Felt like shit, but went to the Utah anyway. That was a serious mistake on my part. I wanted to leave as soon as I got there. I tried to make the best of it. I met up with Joe. Ugh, it turns out that Fancy didn't relay my message to him saying that I felt ill and decided to go home (depression reared it's ugly head) after the Fancy Dan Band's show at the Royale Cafe.

Joe was very understanding, but I still felt terrible. Anyway, Joe's going to try and get me a press pass so I can photograph his band when they play the Great American Music Hall this Friday.

Found out from Heather than Anna's leaving for Boston. Heather seems VERY unhappy, but it's Anna's life. I hope she and her wonderful boyfriend (he's a very sweet guy) are happy.

I got myself a diet coke and started listening to the first two singers. The first band sang two songs (because they were a band and are allowed two songs -I think that's how it's done at th Utah) and the second was Todd Shipley. Both did very well, but I found it tough to concentrate on the music. I wanted out and found myself trying to hold myself together near the stairs. I wanted to fall apart. I wanted to break down and cry. I felt so alone and shitty. I needed someone but I have no one to turn to. I then heard a little voice. It came from Darryl.

Darryl is someone I just met recently. He's friends of GGB. He asked if I was okay. I lied and said, "Yes, I just need to take my (diabetic) pills." I then took a couple out and took them with my diet soda. He left me and I immediately fell back in my dark world.

I think Shipley was singing when I heard Darryl's voice again. He knew something was wrong. "What's wrong? Are you okay?" he asked. I finally told him the truth. I shook my head no and said, "Someone I cared deeply for left to live in the East Coast." He said he was sorry I felt so bad and hoped I felt better when I got home. What a nice person. I then gathered my things and left.

When I got home, three cell phone text messages awaited me. They were from Dustin. Honestly, how bad I feel about the other gent leaving for the East Coast is nothing how I felt when Dustin left for Washington. Now I was totally depressed when Dustin left town. But I was estatic to get the text messages and read them all. He's doing well and his sister just had a baby shower. G-d, I can't wait for Dustin to come back. I guess I feel close to him because we shared so much. And thank goodness sex was never part of our friendship.

Speaking of sex, thoughts of calling Johnny for a booty call seep into my mind every now and then. I guess periods make women extra horny. Thoughts of hiring a male whore came to my mind too, but only for a second. Seriously, I've had few sexual partners and I've careful not to pick up anything. Even when I was married and on the pill, I still had my then-husband wear a condom. I'm paranoid when it comes to stds.

For the moment, I'm feeling a bit better. But just a bit.

I'm back from seeing Music For Animals at the Rickshaw Stop, but I'm still depressed.

I've been feeling blue and at a loss for two weeks now. I know I'll eventually get over things.

It's because I'm caught up in watching another episode of "Kitchen Nightmares". I got hooked on this show when I was at the gym. I looked up and, though there was no sound, figured out what was happening ... and seeing how Chef Gordon Ramsay skill at making meals, well, I just had to check more episodes out. I love this show. It makes me want to go back to cooking full meals again.

I did check out things at the Utah. I didn't feel like going, but I remembered that I was to meet Joe there and get a ticket to his show at the Great American Music Hall. Met up with Mary Margaret and hung out for a bit. She's quit her job and is looking for another one. If she doesn't find one soon, she'll have to go back to Michigan. I have a few job site for her, so I'll send them her way tomorrow morning.

I tried the Utah's white sangria. I was impressed that it had a good amount of fruit in it. I've had sangria before and I usually find specks or slivers of fruit. The sangria was also sweet, like a good sangria should be. Of course, the best sangria I've ever had was homemade with huge chunks of fruit (granny smith apples, red apples, navel oranges, pineapple and maybe a grapefruit. As for the wine, it was sweet, but not sugary and it had pulp. Amazing. I guess it's time for me to make my own.

I saw Joe and bought him a drink. Eventually, I invited him over to the table I was sitting at with Mary. Joe and his girlfriend ordered spicy hot chicken wings and offered Mary and me some wings. Goodness they were good and very spicy. Luckily I had my sangria to cool me down and, though, I offered Mary drinks of my sangria, she declined. She was afraid she'd drink all of mine up and decided to get a drink for herself. That was fine with me because I then took my drink and downed it in one gulp. Damn those chicken wings were HOT!

Something irked me at the Utah tonight. I met a few friends and they asked why I didn't go to their show. Last Friday a few shows were held. Now seeing that I neither saw a bulletin, never received an email, nor got a phone call ... why the hell should I bother going?

Case in point: I made the effort and went to the El Rio to see Joe's band (The Electric Sunset) play. I didn't really want to go and I also didn't physically feel good enough to go -I've been getting slight anxiety attacks.

But I DID go. Why? Because when Joe sees me at either one of the Fancy Dan Band shows or his own band's shows, he comes up to me and thanks me. I'm a fan and he makes the effort to see that I'm enjoying myself. He's also reminded me (by email) about his upcoming shows. This helps me remember to put his shows on my computer calendar and in my cell phone.

As for me going anywhere this past Friday, I had a bigger anxiety attack and decided to stay home. I guess it's the fact that I've been off insulin for two weeks (and I also haven't been taking all of my important diabetic meds --a snafu with Walgreens since taking over RiteAid) that's causing me these anxiety episodes now and then. I should be better once all my meds come into the pharmacy. I was told to come in on Thursday.

In the meantime, Zack the Cat keeps my mind busy with everything Zack. When I focus on that little hairy orange monster, I don't feel as stressed. And it's also interesting watching Zack search through my grocery bag looking for a nice firm green grape to smack around the apartment.

I went last night to the Popscene to see MFA's show. A radio station was having a special pre-BFD night at that club and MFA was the only band set to perform that night. Samara and I were suppose to go together (though, I don't know why she didn't want to invite her new boyfriend to the show) but her ID was invalid.

Anyway, I got there "late" around 10:15pm and the place was very much empty! I felt so bad, but after 90 minutes the place eventually filled up (filled up? It was packed!). Well, I was sitting at one of the circular tables in the far back of the club when Eli (a very sweet person) came up and hugged me. It was 11ish, and we talked for a short time. He asked if I was going to the group's next show at the Shoreline. I said I couldn't because I had no way of getting there (I have no car nor do I know how to drive). Gosh, I felt bad that I wasn't going. I finally asked him when would the band perform? He said, "Oh, in about 20 minutes." "Oh, good." I thought because I was getting tired.

It was around midnight, I think, when they got on stage. It was a great show. I found myself upfront (which is a good place to be). They performed and sang every well. Jay got so *into* one song (where he hits a drum with one drum stick) that he split the stick in half. I also notice that during one song, their lead guitarist, Rick, was off on a song (Jay remembers the song, but I forgot the name). He kept playing the wrong chord at the beginning of each chorus (okay, I'm not a musician so I'm guessing at the term). But I thought it was funny (so did Jay). Well, I had a very good time, but felt (probably because I was in my happy place listening to their music) that they played a short set. Ah, well.

THE SECRET BLACK BELL

In previous MFA shows, I've always noticed this black front desk-ish bell on stage and this show was no different. There it was, on stage. I would stare at the thing seeing if Jay would step on it or not, but he never used it.

So, that night, after the show, I got a chance to ask him. I saw him standing outside the club (What, no girls surrounding him?!?) getting some air when I went up to him. He saw me and hugged me. He then thanked me for coming to the show. I could hear his voice was a little coarse from singing that night.

I quickly asked him (in case he was going somewhere), "I have to ask you Jay, what's that black bell on stage used for?" Well, Jay thought I was talking about the wah pedals or something else which affects his guitar sound. When I described it, he finally understood what I was talking about and told me its use. I decided to tell him (silly as it might've sounded) my theory on the use of the black bell.

I told him that I thought he would step on it when and/or if an amourous female fan jumped on stage to attack him (smooching, hugging, ...well, groupie stuff). That the black bell was to alarm the clubs bouncers so they can pry the girls of Jay.

Jay laughed and thought it was pretty funny, of course, I was wrong. It was at this time that his girlfriend came out. He told her what I thought about the "bell". She jokingly agreed with me. She said that that bell (if Jay ever stepped on it) actually sent an electric signal to her notifying her of a "violation" onstage to her man. She would then run upstage to take "care" of things. LOL. I like Jay's girlfriend. She's funny.

Eventually she left and Jay and I talked for a bit more. We talked about their next tour coming up and I quickly remembered a link Bridget had for band members to use if they were planning a tour in this country. I told Jay about it and said I'd email it to him/the band the next morning (which I did). When we hugged our good-byes, I felt all his gold chains. I wanted to laugh, but didn't.

Btw, If you see Jay sing, you'd know that he wears a lot of gold chains around his neck. I think many fans and friends make fun of that fact and it just struck me as hilarious when I felt the thick, corse strands. But I'm easily amused.

I didn't get home until 1:30pm. I quickly ate dinner (yeah, I know it was late) and went to bed. Ugh, I had to wake up a few hours later for work. But I made it there and wasn't too tired.

As for the use of that black bell, you know, I simply can't remember.

I went to the Utah tonight in hopes to meet up with those bands/performers interested in having a show at the club I'm now booking for.

Samara and her new beau texted me saying that the place was packed. I didn't mind since I knew I'd see a lot of people. When I got to the tavern, I saw Samara and her guy Tommy. I then left and did some networking. Wow, it's been such a long time since I've done this that I was nervous with excitement. Samara said I should sit down and eat something, but I just couldn't. I didn't feel like eating either.

Unfortunately, the place stank of dogs. There were about three dogs in the place. They were happy dogs, but they leaned toward the stinky kind. I absolutely LOVED Eugene's pup. It already looked full grown, but Sultan (that's his name) isn't yet a year old. Anyway, Eugene has really taken care of his boy and Sultan's quite beautiful.

I met Slim and paid him for video taping and burning cds of the Fancy Dan Band when they performed at the Utah a few months ago. I couldn't find Fancy anywhere at the Utah. Then I saw Michael standing at the stairs (which separates the Open Mic area from the bar). I did another sweep of the Utah, but still couldn't locate Fancy. I then asked Mr. Loebs if he could give the cds to Fancy. I explained that I couldn't find Fancy anywhere. Michael, very kindly, took the cds.

For the rest of the evening, I reacquainted myself with friends. Jimmy the Trumpeter is back from Hawaii. He told me that Hawaii, though lovely, just didn't sit well with him. Anyway, I'm glad he's back. He's such a pleasant person. I saw Kyle (handsome as ever) and spoke to him for a bit. He wants me to come to one of his warehouse parties. He told me that his parties are amazing and kick-ass!

I didn't stay for the feature because Samara and Tommy wanted to go home. And, since I hate walking home alone, I decided to take the free ride.

I'm feeling a bit better now. I know Dustin is happy at home and will see the birth of his sister's baby (it's a boy). As for Johnny, I think it best if I stay away from Johnny's bar. It just hurts to be around him. Especially when he starts to flirt with me.

Dustin left for Washington state earlier Sunday morning. But I was extremely depressed on Saturday. So depressed that I didn't go out (except to take my cat to get groomed and then bring him home hours later), I hardly ate and I spent the majority of my time sleeping.

Saturday was a big night. It was Klaus' birthday show, the FDB were performing for a in-house show, The YD were having a book/poetry reading in a nearby bar, and TDW were in a gallery having a show.

It was just like Friday. Lots of events to go to, but, unlike Friday, I didn't nix the shows to spend time with Dustin. I nixed the shows because I felt bad he was gone. I know he's coming back, but not having him in the city feels strange.

We still had a lot of serious things to discuss, but we spent our time together talking about his life, his family, and his return to the city.

So this and seeing Johnny again has made me quite depressed. Sometimes I get a shortness of breathe. I wake up to drink water and then go back to bed. I wake up to go to the bathroom and then go back to bed. I wake up to feed my cat and then go back to bed. My cat meows for a scratch and all I can do is say, "I'm sorry Mr. Kitty, not now." and head to the bed for more sleep.

But it's now close to 1am and I'm tired. I now need to get back into work mode which means that I need to get some sleep. Ah, the irony.

Dustin's leaving this Sunday for Washington state. He'll be there until the end of August, but it still sad to see him go. I haven't spent time with Dustin in over three weeks. We've both been busy and I've missed him.

Anyway, tonight, even though Dustin said he couldn't spent too much time with me (he was expected in the Mission to meet others friends before he left) we still spent a long time together. We first had dinner at Grub Steak (I guess this is our "regular" meal spot) and then we went to our regular bar for a drink (or two, or three, or four).

We had a fantastic time listening to Pantera, Metallica, the Ramones, and other punk and metal bands. I was pleased to see Johnny after a two month absent from his bar. Gosh, Johnny's so adorable.

Dustin and I kidded around with Johnny. Man, how I wanted to go in the back room with him and give him a long passionate kiss. Fuck, if I could, I know he'd feel me below as I'd feel for his cock. Damn, I missed Johnny. But none of that happened tonight. He and I played around a bit. I had Johnny pour two scoops of ice cubes down the front of my blouse -no one ever believes me when I say that I do like it cold- and he was impressed that I could take such a large amount of ice cubes (so was Dustin). Johnny asked why didn't I scream or make a big deal when he poured the ice cubes down my front? I then told him that ice didn't bother me. I proceeded to prove it by grabbing a handful of ice cubes from my chest and rubbing it on my throat. It seemed Dustin and Johnny were amazed I could do that. But I think it's because they both don't care for the cold.

Anyway, It was 10:40pm when Dustin said that he had to leave for the Mission. So I closed my account, gave Johnny a much deserved tip and, not sure that he'd allow me to do this, I asked Johnny if I could "pay the toll". Johnny said, with a huge grin, "Suuuure!" and turned his head to the right and pointed to the area he wanted me to kiss him. I gave him a kiss on his soft cheek and touched his soft curly head. I wanted to kiss his lips, but knew that I shouldn't.

After kissing his cheek, he said, "Ah, shucks, Miss Miriam" and pretended to shyly kick his shoes and get embarrassed. I said good-bye to my Johnny and walked Dustin up to Van Ness so he could catch the 49 to the Mission.

It's still early on a Friday night, but I'm ready for bed. I'm thinking of Johnny and I already miss Dustin. I'm also drunk. My emotions are mixed right now.

Hello All,

Would you like to play at a new venue? I'm working with a fellow named Jamal to put on shows every Tuesday night at The Element (@ Polk and Geary).

IF CHOSEN TO PERFORM AT THE ELEMENT, THE PERKS ARE:

You and your band mates will each get one drink ticket. Sure, it's not a lot, but read the second perk. Though, the cover charge is $10. But for every person you bring in, $5 of that $10 is yours. See? Didn't I tell you? A great incentive.

and

Near the end of the night, and after the performances, there will be a Singer/Songwriter competition. The winner will receive $50. Plus, the place is pretty spiffy, too.

NOW, WHAT IS NEEDED FOR THOSE CHOSEN TO PERFORM:

You and/or your band, MUST bring in 10 people. But think about it. Ten people means you make $25. Wow! Be Professional, Be Patient and Be on TIME!

AND, AS FAR AS I KNOW: That's it!

THE INFO I STILL NEED TO GET

I'll need to talk to Jamal to see how long each band/performer is given, how big is the stage, what time everything starts, what time everything ends, etc. etc.


Of course, I'll keep you all in the "know" once the information is given to me. Btw, if you'd like to play with a few other bands, talk to me.

So, if you're interested, email me (NO PHONE CALLS). Good luck! Cheers,

Miriam